Marek, her partner, a mathematician, is different. He is organized with his wallet. He always knows how much he spent, what he spent on, and how much he has left. Once she took him to a cafe where she sometimes liked to drink coffee with corn. “He saw the prices and turned pale. I’m sorry,” he said, “but I don’t drink coffee for 30 PLN and I don’t eat corn for 40 PLN. I was surprised to see that it costs so much. Really? I didn’t realize that before. I liked this place because the tree gives nice shade in the summer,” she said.
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They have a joint account, but only Marek keeps track of what happens there. They recently had a serious conversation. He started by saying that it is impossible to continue living as they are. He showed me the accounts – for coffees, dresses, last year’s weekend trips to Masuria, the Baltic Sea, summer holidays in Thailand, winter holidays in Andorra. “He gave me a lecture on economics: income, turnover, turnover. Before, I didn’t even notice how much of these coffees I was buying. I take some to go and throw away half the cup on the way. I think I could get around this. And it’s better to give up weekends in Masuria and go abroad once, but for a longer period,” says Olga.
In total, her salary together with Marek’s is PLN 12,000. PLN per month. They do not have loans, they do not have to spend part of the children’s expenses because the grandparents are responsible for buying clothes or shoes. And even then it is still not enough.
– They earn above average, but they don’t consider themselves lucky. Those who repay a mortgage realize that it is enough for their subsistence, but not for pleasure. They would like to go somewhere with friends on weekends and on vacation abroad more often. When you have to give up something, there is frustration – says Dr. Marta Olcoń-Kubicka from the Institute of Philosophy and Sociology of the Polish Academy of Sciences about the couples she studied with Mateusz Halawa. He deals with economic sociology, analyzes what people do with money and how it affects their lives. In a study he recently led, the expenses of 28 couples from Warsaw and the surrounding area – millennials, that is, people up to the age of 37 – were monitored for 2.5 years. Middle class, mainly so-called white-collar workers, income per couple from PLN 5,000 to PLN 12,000. PLN net.
– We were curious to know how the generation that grew up in a completely different economic reality than their parents deals with their budget. Do they manage money in the same way as it was managed in their family homes? Do they have a joint account with their partners or separate accounts and how they settle their bills – says Dr. Olcoń-Kubicka.
What surprised the researchers was that there were more household budget spreadsheets than they expected. Young people who are used to using spreadsheets at work bring them home. They create digital budgets of varying complexity, recording who last bought groceries and for how much, and who paid for gas.
Men are more likely to control and count who contributes how much. Women are more likely to combine incomes, have a joint account with their partner, and end up with mutual agreements. They say: My parents’ income was pooled.
– Parents are a common point of reference – noted Dr. Olcoń-Kubicka. – Many couples remember that their parents had a joint account, but then they also remember that there were fights over money, each one shared the money, scolded the other and asked them to confess their expenses. They don’t want that in their relationships.
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– The way my parents handle money, I would just like to transfer their wealth into my life – says Olga. – They have a lot of money, but they are old. If they have to buy something, it always seems too expensive, if they go on vacation it is a shame. Your father was a businessman, a workaholic, terribly stingy. He can accumulate, but he can’t spend.
Marek’s parents had a division of roles: his father, a sailor, earned a lot, his mother spent a lot. They earned nothing. And now Marek, who would not like to waste as much as his mother, has to somehow come to terms with Olga, who would not like to save like her father. They are trying to get in touch. It is not easy.
– On the one hand, it seems that millennials have it easier because the country is richer than it was when their parents were entering adulthood. On the other hand, the situation is worse because they lack role models and economic preparation, says Dr. Jolanta Tkaczyk, a consumer behavior specialist at Kozminski University. At the age of 13, she opened an account for her son, into which she transferred money. He had to learn how to manage it. – Did he run out? I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have. When I talked to parents of other teenagers, I heard that they wouldn’t do that with their children, that it would be harmful and that the child might spend money on stupid things. And yet, if he did spend it on stupid things, it would be a lesson that would be better learned sooner rather than later, explains Dr. Tkaczyk.
– I try to spend no more than PLN 350 at a time. But once, during a sale, I spent PLN 2,500 on clothes for my daughter. I buy them because it’s a bargain, because they’ll be useful. Especially for my daughter. I don’t even have time to wear most of the things, she’s growing up – says Anna (31 years old, manager of a clothing store). Her second child is on the way, due in September. She and Krzysztof (a company that sells air conditioners) have been married for three years. They have separate accounts and the expenses are divided as follows: she pays the installments on the loan they took out to renovate the apartment, buys clothes for the child, medicines and pays for daycare. Krzysztof buys diapers, takes care of the rent, water, electricity, TV and car repairs. Food purchases – sometimes she, sometimes he. It often happens that before the payment is made she runs out of money, and he always does. – I don’t know how he manages – says Anna.
Prof. Dominika Maison, Dean of the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw, has been researching for years why some people manage their finances well and others do not, and what determines the style of spending money. She claims that both character traits and emotions are behind this. Both the happy spender and the spendthrift can spend a lot. Both acquire spontaneously, often in unnecessary quantities, while the former enjoys it but also manages to restrain himself. However, the other person sometimes crosses boundaries, gets into debt and then blames himself for spending so much money – he is bitten and tired. Emotions also divide those who limit spending. A thrifty person will spend carefully, look for bargains and save money for what he plans to buy. And when he collects and buys, he will be happy to have it. Completely different from the belt-tightener. This type saves for the sake of saving and complains that he has no money for anything.
– The healthiest approach to money is a simultaneous combination of two styles of spending money – the joy of spending and thrift. Such people may enjoy shopping, but if necessary, hold on and save money – says Prof. Casa.
Spending styles also translate into how people function in relationships. It’s hard to imagine a relationship where one person tightens their belt and the other spends excessively is a conflict-free relationship.
– My wife might buy a jacket just because she’s bored with the old one. I explain to her that this fuels waste production – says Dawid, 35, and his wife Dorota, both marketing specialists. They have known each other for 10 years, have three children and a 100-square-meter apartment in Warsaw’s Ochota district. They moved in a month ago and still don’t have a sofa or a sink. There were disputes when it came to decorating: she believed that you could buy something cheaper, but then replace it with a better and more expensive one, while he insisted on buying a decent one right away. The move messed up the order of expenses, they had to improvise, the lecture was given by someone who still had some money in the account. They usually have a clear division about who does what. – I wouldn’t want to end up like my work colleague did: they settle accounts with their husbands in such a way that if one owes the other 5 PLN, they don’t forgive each other. On the other hand, I would never want to enter into a system like my parents’: just a joint account managed by my mother, and when my father needs something, he asks my mother to give it to him. This is not a partnership, says Dawid.
He and his wife have come up with this system: 30% each of them deposits their earnings into an account, from which they pay for their daughter’s apartment and kindergarten. In turn, she and he pay the nanny who looks after the children. “Initially we were supposed to take turns shopping, but when she did it I was hungry. So I decided it would be better if I took care of the food and she took care of the chemicals,” he says. They stick to this system, although – as he admits – it is not perfect. Although they both earn similarly, one is often negative and the other positive. “When there is no money in the joint account, I put money from my own account, until I finally realize that I still have two weeks left until my paycheck and I don’t even have enough money to buy a sandwich at work. Luckily my wife adds money and I can buy sandwiches.”
Maria (the manager of a small family business) and Michał (a political scientist) moved into a new apartment half a year ago (a beautiful one in a renovated Art Nouveau tenement house, but so far they have only furnished a bathroom and a kitchen). Together they have 9,000 zloty on hand. They are thirty-year-olds with a 30-year mortgage. In the bedrooms, bare light bulbs hang from high stucco ceilings. They sleep on mattresses and store books and shoes in boxes. “It’s hard to live in an empty apartment, but we saved a little to buy furniture,” says Michał (the thrifty type).
– Sometimes I feel like saying: let’s stop saving and go on vacation! – says Maria (joy of publishing). She is tired of long-term goals. It is also starting to get a bit tiresome that they do not have separate accounts. When taking out a mortgage, they decided: let’s combine income and accounts. In total, they now have 10 accounts and she does not manage them, Michał manages them all. They start discussing whether they should remodel it somehow. She would like to have an account just for herself. Dr. Olcoń-Kubicka’s observations show that couples’ financial arrangements are changing. Those who have separate accounts are thinking about merging them, and those who have merged them are thinking about separating them. For some, it is standard to have several accounts to deal with different responsibilities. For others, we are back to grandma’s methods: keeping money at home, in envelopes, boxes, jars, with descriptions: “grocery shopping”, “fees”, “pleasures”.
“Isn’t it sad that we are in our thirties and still learning how to use money?” says Olga. Since she and Marek have decided to control their expenses more, they no longer pay with cards, but take money for food from a money box in the kitchen. On holidays they put it in a pile, that is, in a medicine bag. They hope that this will improve their finances.
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