– I had to live in a rented room with strangers. The cost of living in Olsztyn is lower than in Warsaw, but you also earn less – explains Klaudia.
The pandemic started and prices skyrocketed. In addition, there is stress at work and the feeling of being condemned to live with people with whom there is no connection. “I got depressed. I thought my life would be like this forever: work, home, crying. No vacations, no pleasures, why?” says Cláudia.
Things were so bad for her that she decided to move back to her family home, although she associated it with her parents’ arguments. “Although my father is rarely there because he works abroad, the relationship with my mother is far from good. Plus, she has a chronic illness, so I am partly her carer,” she says.
The boomerang generation
Klaudia takes medication and goes to therapy, which she says keeps her afloat. Her mother doesn’t want her to contribute to the family budget, so she can save a little. “I sometimes do the shopping and cleaning. But I don’t have to pay rent, which is a big relief,” she says.
She would like to move so that her progress in therapy would not be wasted due to the conditions she lives in. To avoid being questioned about how she is doing, she has practically stopped meeting people. But there is no chance of moving in the near future. She is afraid that if she were to leave alone, she would have to move back immediately because the cost of rent would crush her. She does not even dream of buying anything. Maybe if she had someone…
– To meet someone, I would first have to get out of my current situation. And This is how this vicious circle ends.
According to a Eurostat study, around 2.5 million Poles under the age of 30 have decided to stay with their parents. Data from the Central Statistical Office shows that over the past 18 years this number has increased by 700,000.
In addition, a new phenomenon is beginning to occur. It is called the boomerang generation. People who, after becoming independent with more or less success, return to their parents. Most are in their 30s, but there are even people in their 40s.
Sociologist Prof. Tomasz Sobierajski sees this as the new normal. In an interview with gazeta.pl he states that this situation will soon apply to about 40 percent of people aged 30. And that we can expect a return to the multigenerational family system.
No protection
Marta, 34, has been living in the same apartment with her parents and 12-year-old son for two years. For a long time, she did better than most of her peers. She started working while still studying psychology. She was quickly promoted to management positions in companies. She could pay the rent and provide a good life for her son. She didn’t have to worry about her ex-husband not being involved in their lives and paying ridiculously low child support.
But at the beginning of 2021, her company announced a “restructuring.” “In practice, this meant that some people would be laid off. I found myself in this group,” she says.
She had no savings, a rented car and a consumer loan of 70,000 PLN. Today she describes that life as quite frivolous, she didn’t think about protecting herself just in case. However, she received a high severance pay, so she was confident that she would find a job before the money ran out.
– My senior positions, which I had touted so much when looking for a new job, turned out to be a hindrance. I was told that I was “overqualified.” Or that I would probably go somewhere else soon with this experience, he says.
In addition, the owner of the apartment stated that he had to pay an additional PLN 1,000. – Then I decided to ask my parents for help. Fortunately, they have a large apartment, almost 100 square meters. Therefore, we live comfortably because my son Wojtek and I have separate bedrooms.
comfortable life
Marta got a job, but with a salary twice as low as before. To rent a two- or three-room apartment, she would have to spend well over half of her salary. If we add the loan installment and the leasing, there would be little left to live on. 600 PLN in child support does not drastically change her situation. She decided to stay.
– It’s a pretty comfortable life. When my mom cooks, she makes dinner for all of us at once. Dad carries the groceries, so I don’t have to worry. When I go out, I have to leave the child with someone,” he admits. – And although I was very worried about how my mind would cope with it, somehow we managed to get there. Our relationship is better than before, he admits.
A year ago, she met Tomek, who is also divorced and has a son. He is building a house in the Wilanów district of Warsaw and they plan to live together. But until then, she will stay with her parents, unless there is a special occasion.
However, this is unlikely. The chairman of the Civic Development Forum, Marcin Zieliński, believes that there will be no drastic improvement in the situation on the real estate market in the near future.
Price increase
– Interest rates have been kept too low for too long, which has caused housing prices to grow faster than the average wage. As a result, housing has inevitably become less available – explains Zieliński. And this directly translates into rising rental prices.
Even if a 30-year-old wanted to take out a mortgage, he would have to make his own contribution. – In conditions of inflation exceeding the interest rate on deposits, saving such a large amount became very difficult, because every month the savings accumulated up to that point lost their real value – explains Zieliński.
The PiS government has introduced programs that in theory should help young people, but as the economist explains, the so-called 2 percent safe loan and the government’s own contribution loan program only increase housing prices.
According to Zieliński, the introduction of real estate funds could help. “Rental funds give tenants a guarantee of certain standards and stability. In addition, the fund offers lower rents because it carries lower risk due to diversification. This is a solution that works in the West, but is demonized in our country,” he explains.
At the same time, there is no doubt that the return to their parents caused by property prices and inflation could have a negative impact on the economy. “Some people will become less independent and will be willing to seek better incomes or improve their skills, as they will have a safe place to live with their parents,” he says.
Claims about the mess
In the first few months after returning to his parents’ house, Hubert dreamed of moving away again. Then came helplessness and indifference.
He had to go back to them. – The rent price increased to PLN 3,000. PLN when I earn PLN 4,000. It was already difficult for me to earn a living and with this price it became practically impossible, he says.
Panic attacks and anxiety began. He woke up at night with his heart pounding and thought he was going to die. When a person wonders every day how he will survive until the next paycheck, it affects his psyche.
“I was so exhausted that I swallowed my pride and called my father,” says the 32-year-old. He offered to help with the rent, which his parents accepted with relief, as their situation was not the best either.
However, friction began immediately after the move. Arguments about what time Hubert gets home, complaints about him making a mess. “My mother complained that I sat in front of the computer all day and didn’t help at all. She doesn’t realize that I work remotely and don’t sit there to have fun,” he says.
Many problems arise from the generation gap. Hubert is a latecomer. His parents were almost forty when he was born. “They don’t fit in well in this world. They have different political views, they don’t realize that it’s possible not to believe in God. Every Sunday my mother asks if I’m finally going to church,” she says.
He tried unsuccessfully to get a raise. He also wanted to change jobs, but ended up with job interviews. “The only thing that changed for the better is that I became more resistant to my parents’ talk. I let it go in one ear and out the other.”
Let go of expectations
Psychologist Katarzyna Kucewicz admits that if we have unresolved issues with our parents and are forced to adapt to their rules under the same roof, this can be a big challenge.
– To deal with this, it is worth letting go of expectations regarding our parents. – We do not need to have much contact with them. If we let go of the desire for our parents to be the way we dream, it will be easier to survive this time with them, he says.
It’s important to remember that this is a time of transition. Kucewicz sees many 30-somethings who believe that if they haven’t achieved their dreams yet, they are a failure. That if they stumble and have to turn back, there is no chance of a happy life.
– It’s hard on our self-esteem, especially when we see happy people on social media who can achieve everything with the snap of a finger. It’s worth remembering that this is a creation, you never know what’s hidden behind the facade of a perfect life – explains the psychologist.
You can view this failure as a useful lesson. Of course, moving forward can sometimes be impossible. – Of course, it would be better to learn from other people’s mistakes than from your own, but I always encourage you to look for hope in the different situations you encounter, he emphasizes.
When I ask Hubert about the future, he snorts loudly. How can he have hope in this country?
He began to accept that he would live with his parents forever. – I feel like I lost a life that hasn’t even come to fruition yet.
