For example, as reported by Helen Gavin and Theresa Porter in their book Female Aggression, in a study of 6,200 physical attacks between spouses living in Detroit, wives were most often the aggressors, injuring their husbands using, among other things, knives and firearms. Another group of researchers analyzed the frequency and characteristics of intimate partner violence in six European cities: London, Budapest, Stuttgart, Athens, Porto and Östersund (Sweden).
While the researchers didn’t show that women were more likely to assault their partners, they did find that “in each of these cities, men and women were equally likely to be victims and perpetrators, with the exception of sexual coercion, where men were more likely to be victims and more likely to be perpetrators.” When I first saw these results, I was skeptical. They went against everything I thought I already knew about domestic violence, and I had a hard time imagining women as significant perpetrators. But at first I simply didn’t look closely enough at the studies, and when I did—although the results were still disturbing—I found something that made them more understandable to me.
While women and men may not differ greatly in their statistics for physical violence against a partner (or ex-partner), aggressive women are less likely to be seriously injured. When a woman is aggressive toward her partner by throwing dishes, hitting, punching, or kicking, the harm to her partner is usually less severe than when a man commits an act of aggression. This is especially true in heterosexual relationships, where there is often an asymmetry in size and strength.
Men tend to harm victims more, not just because they are bigger and stronger than women – psychology may also play a role. Empathy is the ability to understand how another person feels, and men are less capable of this across cultures. This is commonly observed not only in humans. In common chimpanzees, pygmy chimpanzees, gorillas, elephants, dogs and wolves, males have been observed to be less likely to engage in empathy-related behaviors such as caring, cooperating, helping and comforting.
Weaker empathy may not only magnify the effect of men’s greater physical strength, but it also explains why men are more likely to resort to firearms in conflicts with their partners. In any case, while rates of intimate partner violence may be roughly equal between the sexes, the results of this aggression are anything but. Men do more harm and also have a clear advantage in the most extreme category of relationship violence—homicide.
Globally, women are six times more likely to die at the hands of their partners than men are at the hands of their partners. The motivations for physical violence against a partner appear to differ. Representatives of both sexes become aggressive when they blame themselves for their partner’s infidelity, but men are much more likely to use violence as a way to keep their partner with them. Worldwide, when a woman injures or kills her partner, it is most often in response to threats and violence to which she, her children or other family members have been subjected. Women are much more likely to be aggressive in self-defence.
…
Mean girls
“Indirect aggression”—specific to our species—is verbal and involves, for example, tricking another person into doing your dirty work for you or spreading rumors about your supposed friend or classmate in order to eliminate them from the game. If you know anything about teenagers, you’re probably familiar with this type of aggression. When I was sixteen, the alpha female in my group of friends planned to exclude one of my closest friends. I must admit with shame that I failed to defend her and prevent her from being kicked out of the group. I didn’t even realize how terrible it was for my friend—I only realized it years later, at an alumni reunion, when she told me about this traumatic experience. (I can console myself that at least thanks to it she found new, more loyal friends.) Of course, boys and men also practice this kind of nastiness, but girls and women seem to have a special tendency towards it. Anything that threatens the baby also triggers strong aggression in females.
I must admit that this morning, on my way to school, I yelled at a driver who crossed the street just as my son and I were trying to cross the street. Maternal aggression helps females achieve their reproductive goals in all animals, including humans. However, it does not appear to be in concert with testosterone. Furthermore, studies in other animals show that the likelihood of maternal aggression is increased by hormones secreted during pregnancy and lactation. Since female aggression generally serves different purposes than male aggression, it is modulated by different hormones. If we adopt a very broad definition of aggression that also includes indirect, maternal, and intimate aggression, it could be argued that women can be just as aggressive as men. There is also clear evidence that they are equally prone to anger. However, if we adopt a narrower definition of aggression—such as that which involves physical threat and causing harm through head-butting, rape, or murder—there is no comparison. Men win hands down.
Excerpt from the book: T is for testosterone. A hormone that rules and divides. Author: Carole Hooven
