In just a few hours, 37 amateurs responded. The first was Marcin: in the photo he looked like a beard and glasses, riding a bike, which immediately attracted Majka. He seemed young to her, maybe even a little too young. A thirty-year-old hipster. Interestingly, without a wife. “I’ll find three places on your legs where you’ve never been kissed,” he promised. “So maybe you could stop by for a coffee at Blue City?” he asked.
When Wives Cheat on Their Husbands
The site Majka logged into is a popular site for cheaters Victoria Milan. Recently, its creators decided to test their European users for cheating. It turned out that Irish and British women were the most likely to cheat after marriage; Polish women need more than eight years to abandon the path of marital fidelity. But once they get down, they go all the way. According to the site, they had an average of three partners in the last twelve months (plus a fourth, permanent one). Men jumped ship an average of 2.78 times.
The cheating website – as is well known – targets a specific segment of society. But Prof. Mariusz Jedrzejko, head of the Social Prevention Center, educator and therapist, confirms that the situation with such betrayals is getting worse. His research shows that in the last three years, the number of unfaithful husbands in Poland has increased from 39 to 46 percent, and the number of wives has increased from 29 to 32. – Recently, an attractive doctor in her forties visited my office. Married. Three lovers at the same time. It’s too much, she said. He’s tired, says Prof. Jedrzejko. He can’t say anything more because this is just the beginning of the therapy. He doesn’t even want to guess how it will all end.
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– Marital relations in Poland are becoming more liberal, especially in the summer – agrees sexologist Prof. Zbigniew Izdebski. His research showed that 10 percent of the nation, regardless of gender, has a second, relatively permanent partner on the side. And when it comes to accidental side-flirting, as many as 42 percent admitted to having cheated. Internet users and 48 percent Internet users.
Jakub, a 32-year-old architect from Silesia, broke both his legs while skiing two years ago and ended up in the hospital. Unfortunately, the surgeon was Olga, his old girlfriend from elementary school. They met in the hospital bathroom. One day a nurse caught them. The rumor spread and reached the laboratory where Jakub’s wife worked. When he returned home, he found his bags packed. He went to live with his cousin.
A wife ready for anything
After three months, my wife changed her mind. “You can come back, but I will never be yours again,” she said. Now online, often half-naked, she presents herself as “ready for anything.” Jakub would give anything to get things back to the way they used to be.
Krzysztof Korona, a psychotherapist, sexologist and court expert from Krakow, is not surprised by these – as he calls them – “retaliation situations”. He sees a lot of them in court: the husband is dead, the wife is painfully mutilated, family and friends are involved in everything. His office is visited by many betrayed people who now just want revenge on their unfaithful partner.
However, as he notes, cheating is not the same. – For one woman, her husband becomes unfaithful by masturbating in front of a cyber camera, for another woman she will easily accept group sex as long as her husband does not look into the other woman’s eyes – he explains.
He is not surprised by the increasing number of cheating cases. – In cyber times, people have created a new “sexual norm” online. The Internet – explains Krzysztof Korona – is a garbage can, there you can find everything. Observe everything and then imitate. One click and a neglected housewife becomes a “hot pussy”. One click and the rejected husband appears on the site as a bare-chested macho man, unable to resist the offer. The old bed wars, when he went to a brothel and she had an affair with the postman, are no longer valid.
Cheating on the Internet
Eugeniusz Kazienko, a private detective who has been working in his profession for a quarter of a century, also believes that there is something new in love scandals. As an example, he cites the case of a provincial businesswoman in her thirties. The husband reported the case to a detective agency because his wife was rarely at home and was always on some kind of trip. And even when she was, she spent entire nights with her nose in the Internet. The detective quickly determined that the wife was dating many men at the same time. “Mostly with Internet users, but also with many contractors,” he emphasizes. The investigation was sealed by a chance doctor’s visit, during which the faithful husband learned that he had gonorrhea.
The detective’s observations show that Poles today are cheating on each other “fifty-fifty”. – When I started, 7 out of 10 cases of infidelity concerned men, and now, when every housewife has her own computer and smartphone, have mercy, Lord.
Renata, a 37-year-old Pomeranian, is a hygienist, currently staying in a colony in Masuria, so she is not dating at the moment. Children, especially strange ones, are a responsibility. She had known for a long time that her husband had lovers whom he met on various websites. – Somehow I gritted my teeth, children need to be raised. My blood boiled when I discovered my husband in bed with his mother. Mine.
The following weekend she went out with three of them. One by one. “One looked like a log, but the others were like heaven!” he assures. “I already know I’ll have sex until I’m old.”
Another story: – I never thought I would bother him, after all he was a nice guy, from Minas Gerais, but constantly stressed. Sex, like with a miner, only underground, you can die of boredom – says Karolina, a saleswoman from Bytom. She cheated, she doesn’t regret it. – I met someone who can touch me, kiss me and lick me like cream. And I’m finally developing sexually.
When do you know he’s cheating?
– Cheating? Maybe sometimes it’s better not to know? Most people who are cheated on go through the drama and feel like a zero, like a used rag. The Internet hasn’t changed this situation, says Paweł Hałas from Września, an IT specialist whose wife cheated on him a few years ago. When he woke up, he ordered modern spy equipment. – I decided to help people like me, made from bamboo by my partner – he explains.
At first he had more clients. – My wife comes and says that her husband is cheating on her, but she doesn’t know with whom. We search his computer and phone. It quickly turns out that the man has a second home and has group sex there every night, he recalls. – He adds – a woman’s cheating is usually easier to detect, sometimes you don’t even need equipment. – The wife suddenly loses interest in the family. He doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, even stops paying attention to the children. They are dirty and arrogant. She comes back later and later and then sits in front of the computer.
Warsaw-based psychologist and couples’ psychotherapist Katarzyna Kucewicz believes that there are some differences in infidelity between women and men. “For most men, cheating is related to a lack of sex or a lack of interest from their partner. In women, cheating is usually determined by a lack of closeness, understanding and emotional connection in the relationship. That is why they are often seduced by men who provide them with this,” she explains.
He doesn’t sleep with her, so she cheats on him
Meanwhile, Tomasz from the site offers Majka a great oil massage. He sends a photo: bald, middle-aged, blue eyes. He lives with his wife in Ochota, they have two adult daughters. He works in a construction company. Often in delegations. He would love to have a threesome. He sends his phone number.
Jacek, 35, who owns a funeral home, says at the beginning: “My wife can’t find out, I would break her heart.” – But – he emphasizes – you can’t limit yourself to one person. He wouldn’t mind if Majka met another man.
– So what? A threesome? – asks the director. Probably not, Jacek would be jealous.
Majka doesn’t have much time because she spends ten hours at school, has two children in her arms, does laundry, cooks and sometimes goes for a short run. Her husband, a respected sculptor in his late sixties, hardly ever leaves the room. “His hands are still full of some kind of dough,” Majka says angrily.
They have been married for 15 years. They haven’t slept together for eight years. She has tried everything, lace, latex. Why doesn’t she leave her husband? Thanks to him, he has many cool friends. She wouldn’t want to ruin his social relationships.
But she still thinks about what hipster Marcin promised her: that he will find three places on her legs where she has never been kissed. Reading it, she feels a pleasant warmth. I think he will stop by for that coffee at Blue City.
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